I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize