So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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