Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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