Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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