Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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