Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
