I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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