sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
