apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am available for nakedness
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
