I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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