I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
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We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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