That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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