she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
