Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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