I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
