My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
