A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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