So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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