FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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