I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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