I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
false alarm, still single
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
