What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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