So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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