She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
