i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize