and you said cock pushups were impossible
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
