she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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