So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
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I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick