things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...