Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
