A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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