i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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