No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
