I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
