i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
