Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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