So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
