i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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