She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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