How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
