Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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