now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
