sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
