does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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