Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
