Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
