I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
