some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
