imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
