I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Randomize
