There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
