A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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