Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
