so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
