I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize