Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
