So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
