This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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