I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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