Three words: puerto rican gang bang
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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