You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
