she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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