She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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