The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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