I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
