If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
